How Long Until Their Lawyer Regrets Defending Them?

Depends on their level of empathy and perhaps integrity…

If they are really in the role of playing therapist, it could still be a few more years. If they are smart, perceptive, and willing to catch on that they are being played, it could turn around more quickly, perhaps in the next month or so. Very few people want to see how they have been deceived or manipulated. I would imagine in law and defense, it’s beneficial to truly believe someone because the passion helps you develop your arguments.

It is a long healing process to accept that you overly trusted someone. The acceptance messes with your levels of trust going forward. The task of reevaluating is simply not easy and involves engaging in the cycle of grief and loss. It also involves creating distance to see and accept what is true.

One thing I can pride myself in with certain entanglements is that I never played the role of the therapist. I have my own therapist and I learned that everyone needs their own. Especially in a close friendship or relationship, I don’t want to stay tied because of our mutual deep problems, I want to stay tied because we have a connection or common view on life. Perhaps our problems can give us a similar view, but I’d rather take that view and live with it, not dwell on it, not dig ourselves into a hole with it.

Besides, as much information as I have in my brain from a degree in psychology and as much as I enjoy connecting with people on an emotional level, there are just a number of things I am not trained to help with. I can empathize, I can listen, I can be available, but once you get into the deeper stuff — PTSD, intimate partner issues, disorders — I’m there to support, but I’m not an expert in solutions or treatment. If your therapist told you how your friends can support you, let me know.

I wonder though, how even the therapist role can connect too deeply with their patient. A therapist trained in trauma, PTSD, elite military or intelligence communities is probably aware of how those people can present and those therapists sets tough boundaries, like a parent whose child needs to learn to stop acting out to seek attention. The highly empathetic therapists though, the ones a little too eager to connect and heal, do they have the distance to see the big picture? Being a therapist is almost like being intertwined romantically, if you are not careful, you will stop seeing harm and bad behaviors because you want what is best for this person, even if this person is not the best person and might not even deserve your help.

In the end, the legal field is fascinating. Public defenders are the ones who often defend without full belief of their defendant, but with the rational role of presenting the laws and any missteps. The private legal teams have money to drive their commitment to their client and the reputation that comes with winning. But in some cases, is there a point they can reach when they see that their side doesn’t deserve to win? Do morals come into play and let them see the truth or does the lawyer harden in their own righteousness until the case is over?